Dangers of dating violence
He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person.
So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.” ― “It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her as an excuse to mistreat you, stop believing anything he tells you about that relationship and instead recognize it as a sign that he has problems with relating to women.” ― “The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt.
And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.” ― “The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers.
Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her.
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been.” ― “An abuser can seem emotionally needy.
I need to get a better grip.” I always correct him: "Your problem is not that you lose control of yourself, it’s that you take control of your partner. It’s considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. But she's wearing these dark glassesin the kitchen at ten o'clockin the morning - everything nice -as she watches me break offa piece, bring it to my mouth,and blow on it. I fork the pie inand tell myself to stay out of it. No waycould it be worse.” ― “What are you going to do? So raw and unleashed, it tears away the veil of civilization that comes between us as much as it makes life possible.
In order to change, you don’t need to gain control over yourself, you need to let go of control of her.” ― “In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. Crying or complaining confirms that they’ve poked you in the right spot.” ― “My father was one of those men who sit in a room and you can feel it: the simmer, the sense of some unpredictable force that might, at any moment, break loose, and do something terrible. 27]” ― tags: abuse, catalan-writer, catalan-writers, courage, dignity, dignity-for-survival, dignity-of-women, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence, double-standard, dv, eye-opening, feminism, freedom, gender, gender-inequality, hypocrisy, identity, insecurity, integrity, leave-home, leave-the-past, misogyny, nuria-ano, pain, painfully, realism, reason, relationship, self-awareness, self-determination, spanish-writer, spanish-writers, strength, woman, womanhood, women, women-s-day, women-s-rights, women-writers tags: abuse, abuse-survivors, abuser, belie, belief-system, captivity, complex-ptsd, core-beliefs, domestic-violence, healing, healing-from-abuse, healing-insights, intimate-partner-violence, perpetrator, powerless, powerlessness, prisoner, ptsd, recovery-from-abuse, stockholm-syndrome, survivors, trauma, traumatic-stress, victim “She serves me a piece of it a few minutesout of the oven. A poor substitute for the sort of passion we like to extol perhaps, but real love shares more in common with hatred and rage than it does with geniality or politeness.” ― “Today I wore a pair of faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt.
Scientists are researching technology to erase specific memories from people!When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later.Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance.They dream of flying cars, or humanoid robots, of populated cities on Mars. Maybe before we try to keep turning our world into an episode of The Jetsons, we should focus more on the problems that are surprisingly being overlooked now more than ever.Before we design another stupid cell phone or build a flying car, let's put a stop to racism, to sexism, to homophobia, to war.