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I want to make something clear right off the bat: Not everyone needs to date a transgender person. In all seriousness, though, I have to put that disclaimer at the front of this essay because the online discourse machine has a nasty habit of misinterpreting transgender people who try to talk about the struggles of finding romance.And that bad-faith twisting of our words needs to stop.
The same survey that found that 27 percent of Americans wouldn’t be friends with a transgender person also found that four percent of Americans said that they had been on a date with a transgender person in the last year.What I wasn’t anticipating were the countless men hanging around the hotel lobby, covertly trying to find a bedtime companion.They wanted us so badly that they found out which weekend the conference was in town and drove here—but they were still ashamed to flirt with us somewhere more public.Cox had to clarify on Twitter this week that the headline was “taken a bit out of context.” “To be clear,” she continued, “I am referring to men who seek out and have sex with trans women but choose to keep us a secret.I am not saying men not attracted to trans women should be.”This isn’t an isolated incident, either.
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about the phenomenon of straight men who date transgender women but want to “keep us a secret,” calling those men “insecure as fuck” for fearing that society will perceive them as gay.