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that was is what high-schoolers go through these days??? She later spams him with text messages about how she won’t give up on their love and all that sad, desperate sh*t, and even tries to lure him back into the library hoping to trigger memories of their lusty little interludes in the General Reference section, but he never comes!!! And then there’s something about Mika discovering Hiro’s blue diary (!!! Few productions can out-makjang the makjang, but Koizora manages to do just that! This doesn’t mean that the societal evils and hot-button issues tackled in Koizora do not exist; my beef is with the overweening treatment these topics are given in the film: there’s no real gut-wrenching gravitas to the story, only a glib artificiality to the plot contrivances – as if the writer were pulling randomly from a grab bag of Horrible Things, hoping to meet some sick boo-hoo quota.Back in my time all me and my chums ever did after school was hang out at the benches under the trees discussing books or our favorite alt-rock bands, or we’d hie off to the nearby mall to play Whac-a-Mole at the gaming arcade before blowing our allowance on Dairy Queen Blizzards and The Mighty Ducks collectibles. Back at school, Mika sees Hiro in the library aka the Room of Unprotected Nookie. ) filled with pictures upon pictures of her, and Mika looking at the sky smiling, and origami birds on a train. The problem with this type of narrative – and melos/makjangs in general – is that it desensitizes the viewer to the multiple whammies (gang-rape! This kind of melodrama-pastiche treatment also cheapens the true-to-life experiences of people in the real world who been victimized by gang-rape, or battled an incurable disease, or lost a stillborn child.If Koizora was based on a true story, then I’m a yodeling Swiss goatherd named Juergen, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What’s even more disturbing is that Japan effing BOUGHT the tripe and let it snowball into a “cultural phenomenon,” according to Wiki.The novel went viral in 2005 with a whopping 20 million subscriptions, then sold two million copies in hard print, and even spawned its own manga, dorama and film adaptations. ) Apparently, the whole country got a collective kick from reading about the never-ending woes of their favorite teenage love martyr, never mind if these were probably nothing more than the hyperactive fantasies of a lonely, affection-starved bint who happened to have too much time on her hands. Falling in love has never been so monumentally f***ed-up as it’s shown to be in Koizora, that by the movie’s end you’ll have sworn off love, libraries, and Miura Haruma for the rest of your life (…okay maybe not… but then had I not met you, I would not have experienced that joy, excitement, preciousness, and the feeling of absolute happiness. One fine spring day, a boy from another section corners her in the hallway and attempts to wheedle out her phone number. Although the secret-admirer shtick verges on the pervy at times, I kind of liked that this all happens while Mika does random everyday things like brushing her teeth or lazing about the house, her cell phone plastered to her ear the whole time. So for their first real date, Mika and Hiro agree to meet at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere.Repulsed by his presumptuousness and multiple skin piercings (btw the boy here is a very young and unrecognizable Nakamura Aoi, pre-Q. D.), Mika tries to evade the boy’s unwanted attention – and bumps smack into his friend Hiro (Miura Haruma), who with the baggy pants, spiky blond pouf, and ear piercing, (Btw, Miura throughout this movie = fashion YUCK.) But Mika thinks nothing of their first encounter, preoccupied as she is with the more quotidian things in her student life. Didn’t we use to do that in high school, spend long hours on the phone with our crush , zoning everything out as if the voice on the other end of the line were the only sound that mattered in the world? The new school year rolls around and Mystery Boy decides it’s time for The Big Reveal! She gets there early, then suddenly a minivan pulls over – and there are TEENAGE HOODS INSIDE!!!The world was so young and innocent back then, tsk tsk. Mika doesn’t see much of Hiro, he won’t return her calls etc etc, then her friend throws a party which turns out to be nothing more than a teen orgy of sexdrugsrocknroll in some garret, and oh oh oh – Hiro’s also at the Alas, it can only mean one thing: Bad Boy Hiro is BACK!!! ) So later that night while everyone’s passed out on the floor, some stoned creep starts to grope Mika, making her flee to the bathroom. It diminishes their tragedy and loss while insulting the intelligence of the movie viewers, who are actually expected to believe that — the story started dumping green slimy buckets of misery on them both, like they do to celebrities at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards.
This ain’t a nice teen romance, but a day visit to the JUVIE PSYCH WARD. Mika’s voiceover: “If I had not met you that day, then I would not have experienced that pain and sadness… Flashback to high school, with Mika as your typical dreamy-eyed freshman who is just discovering the untold joys of pink lip gloss and the opposite sex. (and on her otanjoubi, he sings to her in this high-pitched voice that manages to be both creepy and LOLtastique at the same time, hahaha. you may be 9324934x better looking than them Johnnies, but you sing just as bad hahaha)…It doesn’t take a genius to figger it out: preggers teener dogged by misfortune murderous psychotic biyatch a tumble down a flight of stairs = miscarriage! (Okay I’ll admit this part a little sad, especially when Hiro rushes off to the shrine to pray for their child while Mika wakes up in a haze of sedatives only to be told that she just lost her baby. After a relatively uneventful school year of being ignored by Hiro, Mika finds herself at a goukon with some college boys (ooooh! But the young lovers make one last truant bicycle ride to the library (no nookie though, hahaha), then to their favorite grassy spot by the river (well at least it ain’t in the Field of Rape, hahaha), where Hiro makes Mika A CROWN OF FLOWERS before collapsing against a tree, sobbing. ) that bludgeon the main characters from every conceivable direction, start to finish.And the scene where they leave a little snowman in their flowerbox and say a pray for their dead daughter… (Hahahahahaha) Then he finally says the three magic words ( to protect her (not unlike Jeon Ji-hyun and her giant life-saving hand-shaped balloon in Windstruck – but in a more “hahaha man that’s stoopid” kind of way). HAHAHAHAHAHAHA at it, yes, and laugh heartily, for it shall bring you many a merry (albeit brain-destroying) moment. Instead of being given one or two major plot conflicts to focus on and build one’s sympathies around, the viewer easily gets alienated from the characters because they’ve become mere of tragedy and misfortune rather than flesh-and-blood human beings grappling with the challenges of their world. After all, the boy turned 21 this year, so forget the shounen-manga adventurism of the Bloody Mondays or the high school hijinks of Gokusen 3 and Samurai High School; because the rite of passage, the definitive landmark of any aspiring leading man’s career, is the Romantic Drama Screen Test (RDST): 1) Can you convincingly play someone who’s young and in love? (Here in the tropics, we have only two seasons: El Niño and La Niña, hahaha) …And [noona alert!!! It would only be fitting for an actor of Miura’s looks and appeal to move past the mandatory silliness of his earlier work and anchor his promising career on heartthrob roles of the young-adult persuasion.