It also means that they choose to display their values by acting as a role-model, rather than nagging you (or others) to change. Codependents have no boundaries and neglect themselves.Love avoidants have rigid boundaries and won’t let you in. How can an intimate relationship feel good if we aren’t special to each other?have was a understanding of what I was looking for. For those of us who wish to find someone with whom to share the rest of our lives, dating with purpose is essential. And good communication would not be complete without listening. This is also true if one partner simply wants more time spent in the bedroom than the other. This means understanding that we might trigger childhood wounds in each other, so we must be able to to articulate what those are and create sensitivity strategies together.
I have created the following list of qualities one should look for in a relationship with a potential life partner. It means that rituals from your family of origin might need to be re-negotiated, that you’ll need to create new rituals as a couple.The hallmark of a healthy relationship is being with someone who can give us as much as we give them. We tend to romanticize relationships because of the happy endings we see in so many movies, but life is not like this.The majority of our happiness should come from a healthy relationship with ourselves.We should also work to practice tolerance for the unimportant things (we absolutely shouldn’t tolerate neglect and abuse—get out if those begin to appear! Conversely, others end up living with unbearable pain instead of moving on (see number 5).Healthy relationships are sometimes lukewarm—and both parties need to understand that. The willingness to choose “influencing” instead of “controlling.” This means that after saying something once, they let it go. This is especially important if you feel like losing yourself in the other person.